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We’ve all heard phrases like “be yourself,” “be authentic,” “just be you” and your following, relationship, etc. will fall into place. That’s hard enough. But it’s even harder to do on video.
So how do you stay relatable in our new hybrid world and make lasting connections in your personal and professional life?
Relationship Expert, Speaker, Author, & Media Personality, Rachel Dealto joined me recently on an episode of my live-streaming show, Inside Scoop, to discuss her new book called “Relatable: How to Connect with Anyone, Anywhere (Even If It Scares You)” which covers how to achieve those goals.
Here’s a quick guide to staying authentic and building relationships in person and online.
1) Acknowledge if you’re feeling weird (online or in-person).
“It first starts with this awareness of how you’re feeling and validating, whatever that is,” Rachel said.
Since the pandemic was worldwide, it feels like we’ve all had the same experience. And to some degree we have. We’ve all had to adjust to video calls – at work or socially. And that can mess with your confidence and your mind.
“We’re not supposed to see ourselves during conversations,” Rachel said. “We judge ourselves more when you see ourselves on camera. And we judge other people more. So there’s just a whole lot more judgment. We hold back being more vulnerable and our opinions. And we stare at ourselves the whole time.”
So, don’t worry if you thought you were a little self-obsessed if you found yourself glancing at your zoom square.
“It’s hard to focus on the other person. Not because you’re a narcissist. Because we look for the most familiar person in a space and it turns out when you’re staring at a screen, it’s you,” Rachel explains.
However, our individual circumstances have made our reactions to the past almost two years very different. So you may have learned that Zoom calls make you anxious and you can’t wait to return to being in-person full time. And others might have learned something else. Check in with yourself and acknowledge where you are and what you want.
Which may mean, you need to…
2) Take baby steps to overcome little anxieties.
“Social anxiety has been on the rise for years,” Rachel explains. “Social anxiety means that you’re worried about being judged all the time, anytime that you’re in a social interaction, so it keeps you from doing those things.”
And if you’re experiencing that. Be kind to yourself. Don’t traumatize yourself by forcing you to face your fears to an extreme degree. Take baby steps so you can put your mind at ease while working towards your goal.
And if your goal is to build an authentic presence online or authentic relationships…
3) Make your new year’s resolution to give up perfectionism.
“We have to look at authenticity as embracing all the versions of ourselves. It’s about taking off the mask of perfection. It’s the difference between who we think we have to be and who we are. We have to really strive to just own who we are. We’re not perfect. And that’s okay,” Rachel said.
Show up as who you are. People will appreciate that.
Rachel had a lot to say about how to be relatable and authentic on and offline. Check out our entire conversation here.
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